Chris, Addie and I were driving home from lunch today when we saw a high school cross country team running along the road. Amidst the flailing arms and legs was a huge poof of curly blonde hair bouncing as its skinny teenaged owner ran. “Did you see that hair?!” I exclaimed, “How could I miss it!” laughed Chris. I thought that would be the end of it but he continued, “That’s the time to have hair like that, when you can just do what you want, before you need anyone to take you seriously.” We went on to have a conversation about feeling self assured in high school and how even the most popular kid in school has confidence issues and bad hair days.
My high school days are far behind me – I just attended my ten year reunion – and I wouldn’t go back and do it again even if someone offered me an obscene amount of money. But thinking back to those days makes me wonder if its possible to raise our daughter to be comfortable with herself in high school. I know that high school is so hard for everyone because it occurs when kids are going through an awkward growth stage physically, emotionally and socially – but is there a way to reduce that awkwardness for your child?
The only thing I could think of was to provide Addison with enough of a life outside of her ‘normal everyday’ that high school doesn’t feel like the center of her universe like it does for so many kids. Chris and I talked about exposing Addie to world travel, letting her witness what it feels like to stand at the base of the tower of London, or marvel at the color of the ocean in the caribbean. Would seeing the Eiffel tower make the inevitable pimples seem less important? I don’t know. I DO know that I am entering a new stage of parenthood that is taking me by surprise: I’m looking past the baby stage and thinking about Addison’s future, who she’s going to be – it is simultaneously amazing and incredibly terrifying! I don’t really want to imagine my sweet little cuddle bug as a sixteen year old with a boyfriend. But it will eventually happen and because of that inevitability I think I need to start preparing for it NOW!!
Those of you with teenagers, do you have any insight or advice? I’m so interested in hearing how other parents help their kids feel comfortable with themselves during such a pivotal stage of growth. Maybe I’m a little premature on this topic, but it never hurts to be prepared!
Perhaps I should focus my sights on preschool first… 🙂
Confidence Mama 
Katie, You express yourself beautifully! I love that you have learned so much from your experiences with motherhood and use what you have learned to enhance your relationship with Addie and her relationship with the world around her. Your organizational skills and preparation for your travels make it the best experience it can be for that day (even if it’s not a good day) and you are teaching her how to take care of herself when travelling and to be considerate to those others. That’s great. Nice job handling the grumpy passenger! Unfortunately, his mother didn’t teach him to be kind. As you know, I traveled by myself with my kids from the time they were babies and I know that feeling of getting on the plane and hoping I had an extra seat, or that they weren’t fussy. I did all the same things that you are doing, only there were no portable DVD players back in those days, darn! Sharing what has worked for you is going to help other moms, and that’s great.
I agree, having a support system is essential. Is there a MOPS group (Mothers of Preschoolers) in your area? Margaret Hardacre used to be a MOPS teacher, can you imagine what those moms learned from her! It’s so reassuring to have a group of momfriends to share your experiences to know that others have the same trials and tribulations as well as the heartwarming moments, too. I had a wonderful group of friends to support me when my kids were growing up, most of whom you know. It was great to learn from those whose kids were the same age and from those whose kids were slightly older. Sharing what works and doesn’t work and just getting some new ideas is great. I really agree that keeping children involved in activities that they love will definitely help them strenthen their self esteem and confidence. They need to be involved in positive things about which they are passionate to balance with the things that they are required to do and hopefully that balance will help them stay on the successful path through the formative years. It’s not easy, though. The love and bonds that you form with your babies when they are totally adorable get you through the times when the going gets tough and your child tests waters and every turn. The fact that Chris is home so much and that you can parent together the majority of the time is a gift for Addie. Keep on keeping on. You are doing a great job! Love you.