How do you feel about kids in restaurants?  There are countless opinions out there on what’s appropriate and what’s not, the front runners in dispute about whether kids should be allowed in restaurants at all.  I have a pretty strong opinion myself — I’m sure you’re shocked about that.  Wanna know what it is? Okay…

Chris and I are chronic destination eaters.  What does that mean? Well, I just made it up, but all it means is that we eat out ALL THE TIME.  I can’t remember the last time that we ate three consecutive meals in our home (breakfast, lunch and dinner.) We eat out at least one meal a day and sometimes two — before we had Addie we frequently ate all meals out, everyday.  So, believe me when I say that my opinion on the appropriateness of children in eating establishments is well researched.

Here is the long and short of it: parents should use discretion on where their children will not interfere with another diner’s experience.  Are you going to a place that is well known as a family restaurant?  Go ahead and take the tots.  Is it a place where people go to celebrate special occasions?  Unless your kids have impeccable manners, let those people celebrate and take the kids somewhere else.  And this applies across the board: even though you are at a restaurant, you – not the waitstaff – are still responsible for parenting your children.  Please don’t try to force your kids into an environment where they will be uncomfortable just because you want to go there.  They are kids after all, don’t expect too much out of them, they’re just learning how to be part of society.  Pretty simple, right?

Well, being a restaurant regular over the years I have encountered the “gray area” to that simple rule above.  Here are the common offenders I have seen…OFTEN:

ENTITLED MOM AND DAD: These parents think that they have the right to take their kids anywhere they want to.  They think that they’re paying the bill and thats all that matters.  “If you’re not paying my tab then you have no business telling me or my kids how to act.” Where do you find them? Usually at a sit-down place where diners do not anticipate children being a part of their dining experience.

OBLIVIOUS MOM AND DAD: These parents just have no idea how their family is affecting the people around them.  Their kids bickering or throwing bread is so normal to them that they can’t imagine that it could ruin someone else’s experience.  Where do you find them? Anywhere. There is no price limit on this one. They can be found at Noodle’s and Co. as well as Sullivan’s steakhouse.

SELf-INVOLVED MOM AND DAD: This doesn’t mean they are self-involved parents all the time, just in the place where other people are trying to eat. The highlighted rule above applies to these parents.  They tend to talk to the other adults at the table and ignore their kids’ screaming or misbehavior. Do they think the waiter is responsible for their kid’s outburst?  Is that sheet of stickers supposed to keep them happy during the entire meal? Because all their son is doing is sitting backwards in his chair staring at us while we eat our food, and it doesn’t help that he is waving that sheet of stickers in my daughter’s face while she is behaving and doing her best to eat her chicken. Please pay attention to what your child is doing! Where do you find them? I have seen them everywhere.  Even the food court at the mall calls for some parental attention but these parents don’t agree.

This sounds incredibly critical, I know. But I am not claiming that kids should not be allowed in restaurants, because there are some kids who can handle it.  There are some kids who know how to behave and other diners would never know there was a child sitting in the next booth.  I am just a firm believer that parents need to be realistic about what their kids can handle.  Because in the end, I can’t blame the kids for acting the way they do, they’re just being kids.  And I am not above the rest here, Chris and I have to assess Addie’s mood before we go anywhere and decide from there what restaurants will be appropriate if she were to suddenly forget how to behave herself.  Do I have cravings for places that aren’t the best suited for a two year old? Heck yeah, but it wouldn’t be fair to Addie to drag her to those places and then expect her to act like an adult.

So there you go, spread the word.  That is my decree!