Why is it that when we spend time caring about how we look we are branded as vain?  There is this stigma attached to putting effort into our exteriors that I REALLY do not understand.  As women we are bombarded with messages telling us how to be prettier, younger looking, thinner, how to have fuller hair, clearer skin and less bumpy thighs.  But then as soon as we start to put effort into our appearances BOOM!  Vain.

I admit this sounds like a defensive reaction to someone calling me vain. It isn’t.  I have, as long as I can remember, put effort into my appearance and have fielded accusations of vanity.  They don’t bother me anymore but I HAVE used them to fuel my passion to convince other women that personal pride does NOT equal vapid selfishness.  It makes me incredibly sad to see women feel that they are not beautiful.  All of the messages convincing us to look better are doing double duty convincing us that we are never going to be good enough.  That is so depressing.

It is one of my main goals in life to be an advocate of confidence.  When we feel good about who we are and how we conduct ourselves throughout our lives our impact on the lives of others becomes positive and resounding.  Sometimes we need to work on believing in the decisions we make as mothers, other times we need to find a new haircut or shade of lipstick – having confidence in OURSELVES is so vital to living our lives to the fullest.

The last week in January I spoke at a women’s retreat about how redesigning your closet can start you down the path to self-acceptance and self-assurance.  We talked about how caring about our appearance does not automatically represent vanity and self-involvement but that it allows us to present our best selves to the world.

This is all sounding a little “Dr.Phil-ish” I know, but I believe in the importance of self-confidence to my very core.  If we don’t give ourselves the time of day, no one else will either.

Take care of you.  Allow yourself the time to figure out what makes you feel beautiful and proud of how you look.  It is not about size and it is not about what OTHER people think about you.  What I pray we ALL find is the ability to look in the mirror and see something we love BEFORE we start noticing the things we want to change…if we see those things at all.  I usually try to keep these posts from being preachy but this is just too important.  Don’t get dressed in the morning to attract attention OR to blend into the background, choose an outfit that flatters your shape or the color of your beautiful eyes or one that just feels great when you move.  Think about that one outfit that makes you feel like a million bucks and allow yourself to feel like that everyday.

Then tell me that you are not happier in other aspects of your life.  It works, I promise.

I gonna stop lecturing now, but I want you to do one last thing: go to a mirror and list all the wonderful, beautiful things you see. Is it your lovely skin? Long eyelashes? Great legs? Strong arms? Hips that sway when you walk? Appreciate ALL of it!  Don’t say anything negative. Really look at what you see in the mirror and start on the path to self-confidence.

I care about the way I look.  I am important to ME.  And I refuse to feel bad about that.