Posted on by katieovergard · 3 Comments

Friends.

I have a lot of confidence, I think we’ve covered that fact. I believe in myself when it comes to my marriage, my parenting skills and my artistic talents.  I have a decent view of my body and even though I sometimes want to make some changes I feel pretty dang good about the way I look. I know who I am but more importantly,  I like who I am.

But when it comes to friendships I feel like a confused, insecure and destined to fail.

I have never been the kind of person who needs a lot of friends. As far back as I can remember I just needed one close friend and then some peripheral acquaintances. As I grew up I convinced myself that I was doomed in friendship because so many female friendships failed, usually with a dramatic crash and burn but occasionally with a slow fizzle.  I have been able to maintain close friendships with a number of guys throughout my life and have definitely been one of those girls who claims that “girls and I just don’t get along. They’re too dramatic.”  For all the times I spouted that nonsense, I officially recant my declarations. I have recently come to accept that my reservations about friendship stem from my own dysfunctional view of what friendship itself requires.

The women in my life who love me, specifically my mom and mom-in-law, have wanted me to have female friends for years. I resisted. I ignored their advice declaring the positive aspects of having lifelong girlfriends.  I didn’t want to hear it. But then I had a baby. And I started to really grow up. And I finally admitted to myself that they were right, I needed friends – girlfriends.

To make a long story very short: I now have girlfriends.  They are wonderful.  But I still don’t know what I’m doing. I try to be honest about how I feel. I try to be there for them when I think they need me. I have even, on occasion, put their needs before my own! I really care about them.  I never know if I should do more. I always wonder if what I’m doing is irritating, or abrasive.  I am constantly second guessing myself…WHY?

For some reason I cannot get over my friendship insecurities, its as though I am convinced that I will fail and so I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop.  In my head I know that I am an adult and can only do my best and be a genuine person, people who want to be around me and in my life WILL be.  But in my heart I am still just a confused little girl who is looking for someone to play with on the playground.

Ahhhh. I’ll figure it out. I have overcome much bigger issues in my life and I know I will conquer this one as well…its just taking a little longer than I’d like it to.

What does an ideal friendship look like to you? Give me advice PLEASE! I am curious to have a peek into a confident, comfortable friendship. I want your success stories!

Posted on by katieovergard · 4 Comments

Well, I was doing laundry anyway.

We just put Addison in her first pair of big girl underwear. She got to pick them out herself and they are covered with flowers and the face of Dora the Explorer, and Addie is THRILLED.

We’ve been working on potty training for awhile now: introduced a new potty about five months ago and explained why we use the potty and what we do in there.  We talked about letting mommy and daddy know when she feels like she might pee pee or poo poo.  And good news – she LOVES the idea of the potty.  It is great fun to yell “potty! potty!” while running to the bathroom and then making mommy and daddy strip her down (because why wouldn’t everyone be completely naked while using the toilet?) Then sitting down and making pushing faces/noises.  And that’s that.  Nothing left behind in the potty,  it’s just another fun toy and chance to get “nake” as Addie so often does. But we both firmly believe that potty training is not something you force, ‘she’ll get it when she’s ready’ we thought.

Then we bought Princess Pull-ups. And waited.

Then we asked her if she liked going poo poo in the potty or her diaper: “Dipe. Poo poo dipe.”

Addie is pumped for preschool so we let her know that she gets to go, “But what do you need to learn first, love?” In her sweet little voice, “PEE PEE POTTY PRESCHOOL!”

So, after registering her for preschool two days ago it hit me that we have until september to make sure she can use the potty.  We still don’t want to push her but we want to make it more appealing to get rid of the ol’ dipes.  We made a “potty poster” with columns for sticker rewards when she does a series of things.  She has two stickers each in the “Let us know you gotta go” and “Sit on the potty and try” categories. But no dice in the “Use Potty”  “Wipe and Flush” and “Wash Hands” categories.  So far, she gets stickers for getting naked, sitting on the potty and pretending to push just like she always has.  Hmmmmm.

She’ll get there.

My little secret? Up until school registration I can’t say I was 100% on board with the idea of no diapers.  We travel a lot. The idea of struggling out of our seats on the airplane because she may or may not have to tinkle sounds awful to me. Not to mention the limo rides to and from the airport – how are those nice drivers going to feel when that tiny voice screams from the backseat, “POO POO MAMA! NOW!” And accidents…oh I can imagine the accidents and the cleaning of the panties and extra outfits…

Part of me wonders why we don’t all just wear diapers.

So, if you have any advice about this potty training business, let me know.  And please, don’t just send in your success stories where you gave your child a potty and he or she grabbed a newspaper to read and started using the potty correctly every time.  I’m gonna be honest, I don’t really want to hear that.  But if you have some helpful tips I would love to be read into your expertise.

Now, I have to go make sure Addison hasn’t peed on anything yet.

Posted on by katieovergard

Have you ever heard of a non-diaper bag?

I don’t want to use this blog to promote my business or make any readers feel as though they are reading a promotion or advertisement…but I think some of you mamas out there might be interested in my new project on my website.  It is a non-diaper bag, a stylish and versatile bag that meets your baby needs AND your style needs at once.  I give instructions on how to make it yourself OR I can make one for you.

Check it out.  I am a firm believer that we should all free our inner artists. You’ll be stunned with what you can do when you just give it a shot!  Go to katieOchicago.com to find out about my evolution from diaper bag obsession to hiding the fact that Addie’s diaper/wipes/tylenol/cookie carrying needs trump my style aspirations.  This bag is my solution!

Posted on by katieovergard

summer is almost here…

You know what summer means? It means shaving my legs on a regular basis, trying to find a decent self tanner that will turn my skin an even, perfect bronze and not the splotchy orange I end up with every year.  It means finding out how my naturally curly hair is going to react to the varying precipitation and humidity levels of the midwest. But right now, all it means to me is toning up the squishyness that has crept up on me over the last few months.

When I can use cute clothes to cover everything up I can pretend that the squishy doesn’t exist…or at least ignore the fact that I want to get the squishy under control before I get the Goose in swimming lessons and have to pop us both into swimsuits. I’d like to see my arms a little tighter, my thighs a little more narrow and less independently mobile when I walk. And okay, while I’m at it I wanna see tighter abs, a lifted butt and slimmer calves, perfect skin, hair that doesn’t react to changes in weather or pool water and maybe, just because we’re on a roll, add a couple of inches to my 5′ 7″ frame – preferably lengthening my legs.

That’s not too much to ask, is it?

I’m going to be honest with you about something: A couple of weeks ago I ordered two bathing suits from the Victoria’s Secret catalog.  One two piece (the top with push-up, thank you very much 13 months of nursing) and a tankini for my “mom time” at the pool (also with push-up).  They arrived in the mail today. After a full lunch at PF Changs I decided it was a good time to try on swimwear.  I fully expected to NOT LIKE the way I looked.  I knew that I would see the squishy pushing against the various ties and seams.

But, to my surprise, I looked alright.  What’s the point, you ask? Well, I’m not tooting my own horn, that’s for sure.  I am just surprised that my body taught my mind a very important lesson: EASE UP.  I realize that it is not uncommon that I find myself unsatisfied with my appearance but don’t take the time to realize that my unease resides solely in my head, not on my hips.  So I’m going to make a conscious effort to be nicer to myself.  I’m pretty easy to pick on, but I’m gonna do my best!

What about you…should YOU give your body a break too? Think about it…

Posted on by katieovergard · 2 Comments

what a weird day!

As you know by now our days around the Overgard household are pretty relaxed and mundane. Now that its nice out we walk wherever we want to go – shops and restaurants are right down the street and the grocery store is a ten minute walk in the other direction.  Hopefully all this walking will tighten up my lower half before I need to slide that bikini on in a couple of weeks!

But I digress…Addie and I walked to the grocery store this afternoon and before we even walked through the doors we heard a kid SHRIEKING inside the store.  We headed to the school supplies section (no, I’m not prematurely buying school supplies for the Goose’s recent pre-school registration…sob) we are making her a “Hey! It’s exiting to go pee pee in the potty – poster” in hopes that getting stickers will make using the potty a little more appealing. My goodness, I am having a hard time staying on topic today!  Back to the shrieking…

The little boy was in the middle of the diaper aisle and had lungs like I’ve never heard before.  If he doesn’t grow up to be in the theater I will be stunned because he was D-R-A-M-A-T-I-C. He was about two years old and his poor mom was holding his younger sister on her hip as she searched for formula further down the aisle.  I’m not clear on what he wanted…maybe to leave, then to be picked up…then possibly world peace…whatever it was, it was LOUD.  I did my best to just go about our business and find our potty-poster supplies.  Addie kept looking at me like, ‘mom, what in the world is wrong with that kid?’ But I let her know everything was okay and asked her to help me pick out poster board.

I am not exaggerating when I say that every single person in the store could hear this kid’s antics.  People were looking, chuckling, peeking around corners to make sure some small animal wasn’t stuck under a pallet of water bottles…I can only imagine what was going through his mom’s head.  But here’s the point – she kept her cool! She just kept reassuring him that she was listening to him and letting him know why she couldn’t pick him up or leave the store immediately or provide intercontinental peace.  She asked him if he was done throwing his fit because she was going to walk to the registers and she would prefer it if he went with her.  And she knew that whatever the rest of us in the store were thinking, IT DIDN’T MATTER!  She knew that he wasn’t hurt or in danger and just went about her mothering like (I assume) she does everyday.  If I thought she could hear me I would have told her how great I thought she was.

Weird thing number two: On our walk home from the store we have to traverse a stretch of a pretty busy main road.  Once we turn into the neighborhoods its pretty quiet and peaceful but for this small stretch it’s loud with traffic and, today, wind.  So, I’m pushing Addie’s stroller with one hand and holding a cup of tea from Starbucks in the other and this woman walking towards us is pointing wildly a the stroller.  My instincts pop on and I’m frantically looking around the stroller at Addie to make sure she’s okay, then at the groceries to make sure they haven’t been falling out in a trail behind me…on and on.  When she finally reaches us she starts talking about how cute Addison is and how nice it is to see other pedestrians.  And then it gets WEIRD.  She starts fishing around in her purse telling me she’s looking for a quarter or a dollar and I am standing there in the wind/traffic trying to figure out for the life of me if she thinks we’re homeless and in need of donations…and then it starts. The talking.  Imagine this scene, I’d call it a conversation but it was pretty one sided.  This is what it sounded like to me – any of my responses will be in italics and if it starts looking like gibberish its because that is ALL I could hear…….

“Here’s a dollar for her piggy bank Little kids love putting things in piggy banks especially in these economic times Yeah, she loves putting money in her piggy bank I was born in 1952 and so that makes me old enough to be your mother Well, you have beautiful skin (keep in mind I thought this was going to be a quick passing conversation at this point) Oh, you’re so sweet I have these chubby polish cheeks and rosacea and I have had this bob for years my husband wants to know why they don’t call it a mike my niece has this perfect asymmetrical face and I tell her that she should cut her hair and she finally has its so fun to have kids they are such natural learners our son fslkjfhgkjhrk sldfj;eij ;isojg sldfijljlskdjf watched ren and stimpy as a little boy and understood the underlying irony my husband is a cpa mba and our son got all my my language comprehension skills and my husbands math skills now he goes to fancy schamncy bennet where they get two hundred dollar italian leather shoes and BMW’s and we get eighty dollar shoes and I asked my husband if I could have a little honda civic but I didn’t know it had manual windows and push button controls now my son drives it and is proud of all the manual things he took his ACT’s and scored a 35 in math and the the SATS before the essays he scored a 1500 but one kid got a perfect score and we talked about being happy for others accomplishments but all the BMW parents we so jealous Well, I have to get home for dinner, it has been so nice talking to you Oh, being born in 1952 I grew up with women’s lib and equal pay and I believe that Shkhekfjhkjdf sdfhoijaodihf dsjfnskehfalh Okay, have a wonderful rest of your day! I need to get going!

Does your head hurt yet? That was the abbreviated version.  Why did I stand there so long listening to this crazy woman talk nonsense? I guess I felt that she obviously needed someone to talk to and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her feelings.  I’m a sucker for people like that.  I think I need to rethink my stance on random weird strangers…

Now we’re home and the only random weirdness we will encounter now is our own. And now its time for dinner…thanks for sticking with me today, I think I was affected by all the crazy!

Posted on by katieovergard

I think our home is shrinking.

Is it possible for toys to mate and reproduce? Because I don’t remember buying all this STUFF.  We used to have space in our family room and now every surface is covered with some variation of toy. Our windows are even covered with gel stickers – no surface is safe.

The bigger question is: who is at fault?  Addie? Sure she leaves her giant magnifying glass in the middle of the floor and her markers have a hard time staying in their bowl, but the real problem is having this many toys in the first place. And that is MY fault.

I’m a sucker.  I see something that looks fun and it comes home with us. I’m just a big kid.  Addison can walk through a toy store with me at her heels saying, “this looks fun…how about this…ooooh, this one is pretty” and she just waves her little hand, purses her lips and says in her adorable little voice, “no, no, no.”  When she DOES want something I am so pumped that it comes home and adds to the melee that is our home.

Today, Addie and I are cleaning up! I think its time for some underprivileged kids to get some very fun gifts.

Posted on by katieovergard · 1 Comment

one step closer…

I’m 29 today!  If you had asked me a year ago how I would feel once I turned 29 I would have guessed my reaction would be longing for my youth to continue ad infinitum. But you know what? I feel like I have one arm out of a lead coat that I have been wearing for the last decade or so.  I am one step closer to reaching, what in my mind, is a glorious shedding of what is expected of a woman in her teens and twenties.

Sound crazy? Maybe.  But to me, the twenties represent expectations of youthful brazenness, universal sexual appeal, maintaining one’s physical peak and an unquenchable thirst for adventure and excitement.  That is a lot of pressure on someone who is trying to figure out who the heck they want to be.  The past nine years of my life have found me on an undulating roller-coaster of maturity, morality and self-confidence.  I will not be sorry to step off this ride and enjoy my newfound contentment with who I am.  I feel like a puppy pulling on my leash trying to get to the next decade of my existence, a milestone more commonly greeted with tears or emotional shock.

Am I surprised my my reaction? Heck yeah I am!  I have always put too much of my self-worth in my appearance and public image.  I am embarrassed to admit that for the first few years of my twenties much of my self-confidence came from feeling desired by others.  Desired for my appearance, my company, my lifestyle.  How exhausting and draining!  I felt that the cover of my book was beautiful, but my content left something to be desired.  It has only been in the last couple of years that I have started to shift my basis of self from the external to my ever growing internal confidence.  I started to recognize all the things that are great about me that had nothing to do with the narrowness of my thighs or the fit of my bikini.  And you know what? finding pride in the fact that I am funny and talented and have something interesting to say is WAY more satisfying than looking good in a pair of tight jeans.

I plan to combine each step I take out of my twenties with another joyful realization that who I am is bigger than what others see.  The past four years have been so monumental in my personal development that I am nothing less than thrilled to find out what I can accomplish and how I will develop over the next five years.  Happy Birthday to me!  Yeah for 29!

I can only IMAGINE how I will feel when 40 rolls around!