New moms are supposed to have a hard time losing their baby weight.  They are expected to let the weight settle into their once taught abs, watch their previously toned thighs grow to motherly softness and then cover everything up with unflattering “mom-jeans”.

Does this happen? Yes. Is it universal? No. Why does it make people so uncomfortable when a woman gives birth to a child and then loses the baby weight easily and regains her pre-baby figure? If the offended group was only made up of post-birth moms having a hard time with their bodies it would be easy to figure out why they were upset.  The thing is, women’s post-baby bodies are mass media fodder! Why? I understand that celebrities are subject to public scrutiny and their bodies are put under a tabloid microscope at all times, but this is getting ridiculous.

Bethenny Frankel is a reality TV personality known for her role on Real Housewives of New York.  She recently had a baby.  Three weeks after having a c-section she posed on the cover of US Weekly in a bathing suit.  What was the result? Media Outrage. She was branded as providing unreal expectations for new mothers that they should be able to replicate her results. The editor of FitPregnancy (a great magazine, by the way) issued the statement:

“I’m concerned if she’s taking care of herself, getting enough rest and enough food, and not obsessing about losing the weight so quickly.

I worry about the message that sends to the rest of us out here, who aren’t invested in that ‘skinny girl’ persona and don’t have trainers.”

I understand her point, but c’mon, women have different bodies. We gain and lose weight in ALL kinds of ways.  Bethenny Frankel may not be my first choice as role model to young girls in most life decisions but the women seems to know her nutrition.  She is a natural food chef! She writes books on healthy eating, and I gotta tell ya, her books may be based around her “skinnyGirl” persona, but she doesn’t promote starving or under-eating.  Here is her reaction to the backlash over her magazine cover:

“I gained 35 pounds during my pregnancy, and probably would have gained five more if Bryn wasn’t born five weeks early. The truth is, I was really healthy! I indulged, but in moderation. I was even eating red velvet cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory. They say you should eat 300 more calories a day when you’re pregnant. I don’t count calories, but I’d say I was eating 400 more than I usually did per day.

My books about being naturally skinny have sold hundreds of thousands of copies. The bottom line is, it’s not so unrealistic to stay healthy while you’re expecting. You don’t have to gain 75 pounds unless you really decide, ‘I’m going to Taco Bell every day’ — and then you’ll have a lot more work to do later. I lost about 25 pounds in the hospital, just from the baby and all the baby stuff. Plus, I had a C-section, so I was in the hospital for six days, and you can’t really eat for three of those. But once I left the hospital, I still had about ten more pounds to go. I still am maybe five or six pounds heavier than I was when I got pregnant, but it will fall off when it wants to.

In terms of the bathing-suit shot, I purposely didn’t wear a bikini in the photo. I thought it would be cheesy, so I wore a one-piece. I think I look like a mom; I don’t think I look scary-skinny. I think it’s good for a woman to know she can stay healthy during and after pregnancy. While I was pregnant, I did light walks and light yoga — I didn’t do anything crazy. It was all balanced!”

I agree with her.  I may not have an inside view into her life but from the evidence presented my ruling is that the public should back off.  She looks healthy, I have seen numerous other celebrities who took their weight loss/thinness to visibly unhealthy limits and were praised for their discipline.  What’s a mother to do?

Here’s what I think new mothers should say if someone should comment on your post-baby body: Lay off. It’s none of your business.

Mothers’ decisions are judged constantly – do we really need to have our weight loss/gain monitored as well? Here’s the easy answer: No. We don’t. It’s hard enough to determine how we feel about ourselves after such a huge life change without the added confusion of what everyone else sees us and our bodies.

So rock that bathing suit if you want to! I think you look great.