My life is perfect. I’m so lucky.

I have heard this from numerous people in my life.  Sometimes its said in passing – in jest – sometimes not, but it feels the same every time I hear it.

From the outside it looks like Chris and I lead a charmed existence; we buy what we want, we have a lovely home, we travel when and where we choose. Our daughter is happy and healthy, very smart and well behaved. We love each other and have exceptional communication and truly enjoy spending time with one another.

Looks pretty swell doesn’t it? Looking in from the outside would be pretty irritating, I think, on those days when things just refuse to go your way, when babies cry or husbands ignore; when bills pile up and the garage door won’t close.  On those days it can be infuriating to see someone else’s life floating along when yours feels heavy.

But you don’t see everything.

The truth is this:  I have a perfect life.

But not for the reasons most people assume.  My life is fantastic because I choose for it to be fantastic.  My life is no more blessed than anyone else’s, I just decide every single day, in almost every single moment to find the positive.  Let me break it down for you:

We have a lovely home because it means a lot to us to live in a comfortable, beautiful setting.  I work hard at maintaining this environment, making, sewing and redesigning things,  and it makes an impact on our everyday sentiment when we love our space.  The home itself isn’t fantastic: it’s old, surfaces refuse to feel clean, one neighbor is loud, one cooks smelly food and the one below us smokes and makes our apartment smell like an ash tray.  We’re sick and tired of renting.  But we never sit back and complain about the negatives that could bring us down. Instead, we choose to focus on our beautiful oasis inside the old furniture factory with comfy couches and ambient lighting.  We choose to focus on how much we love our family time rather than the train charging by outside our window.  We have decided to love this place.

How easy would it be for you to go away for a week of work with a set amount of money, work for 120 hours in a seven day period and then come home with less money than you left home with?  Not too good, I surmise.  That happens to us, and not just once.  Our unconventional life looks glamourous and fun but the majority of people out there would crack and disintegrate under the pressures in our life.  We have worked HARD for eight years managing schedules and finances and keeping a constant and open line of communication so we don’t crumble like other families have in this lifestyle.  You want to be a poker player? It’s a lot harder than it looks.  But we can do it because we have a strong foundation of trust and understanding.  We focus on not only the next big win, but all of the small victories in between.

We work hard to be so happy.  And its worth the effort, every single day.  When parenting is hard we focus on learning the lesson with Addie so we’re a better family unit in the end.  We love being her parents and helping her build the foundation that will serve her for the rest of her life.  Every small battle will make an impact on who she becomes and that is incredible.  Seeing her awesome development makes every fit, every tear, every whine worth it.

I could go on for days but it all boils down to the same point:

I am happy because I decide to be happy.

Living with the intention of honesty, kindness, understanding and gratefulness is a very satisfying way to work through my life. If I didn’t make these things my priority and I started to focus on the “not so great” parts of my life I would be stressed, angry, sad and probably pretty dang sassy – not in a good way.

So look in on my world from the outside and see what you see, I can’t change anyone’s perception.  But when I get frustrated with the misconceptions I can understand where they’re coming from. I can admit that the contentedness I choose then shows to the world and it makes our life look easy.  I can’t be mad that people think our life is easy, that our blessings are born from luck, not hard work.  I can only hope that those people will start to see the positives in their own lives as well.  That they will see the positives of being positive and pass it along.

Just make a decision to see your own glass in a new light – fill that baby up!