I can’t eat ice cream.

Or cheesecake.  Or creamy soups, creme brûlée, whipped cream or anything else involving heavy cream.  When it comes up in a conversation, usually surrounding everyone else around me eating something creamy, someone inevitably says, “Well, no wonder why you’re so thin!”

As if an intolerance to cream is the secret key the diet industry has been hiding.

I am a healthy eater.

I am a whole grain eating, preservative avoiding, fresh fruit loving person.  I am not on a diet, I don’t believe in cutting any food groups from what I eat and never, ever go too long without eating something.  If I want chocolate I eat it, if I want a burger I make one. I do yoga, ab and leg work with weights after I put the kids to bed, use our elliptical machine and walk rather than drive whenever I can.  My kids know why they eat protein, carbohydrates and that sugar is something they should eat in moderation.  We exercise and move and get fresh air every single day.

Do you feel irritated after reading that?

When did it become bothersome to be healthy?

I have learned over the years to keep my mouth shut about nutrition and exercise unless someone asks me outright for an answer to a question or for my opinion.  People do not want to hear about someone else’s healthy life decisions.  I get made fun of on a regular basis for the way that I eat – and it is very clear when its good natured ribbing and when the teasing has a sharp, defensive edge.  It’s fine if people know that I am a consciously healthy eater or that I do various forms of exercise but it is not acceptable for me to talk about my dedication to either one.

I learned about proper nutrition because I had to.  I needed to learn how my body processes food and what it needs so I could heal from an eating disorder.  I get a pass, it seems, to be healthy and make the decisions I do because I used to stick my finger down my throat and throw up everything that I ate.  It was not an attempt to be thin, it was an emotional reaction to witnessing a horrible tragedy that led me to bulemia, but it was bulemia none the less and I had to recover or end up killing myself with the disease.

So I learned about nutrition, digestion, food as fuel and the healthiest way to heal my body from what turned out to be a rather violent disease.  The more I learned, the easier it became to change from a skinny, fearful kid into a strong and healthy woman.  But before people know anything about my past all they see is a thin woman passing on the treats and snacks and choosing walnuts and greek yogurt.  And they make assumptions.  They see someone who never drinks soda and orders non-fat lattes and translate that into a dieting, calorie counting, weight obsessed woman doing everything I can to stay in my 27″ jeans.  Yes, I usually know the number of calories in certain foods, but I also know about the fiber and protein content as well as if it has refined carbs or whole grains, the amount “good” as well as “bad” fat and how many ingredients were required to make it.  I have no idea how many calories I eat in a day but I know that by the time I go to sleep I fed my body a balanced diet that will allow me to wake up the next morning with energy, a healthy heart and strong muscles to carry me through the day.

I have gotten my fair share of eye-rolls when I don’t reach for the pie at get togethers.  I know what the raised eyebrow means when I order lean protein and vegetables for dinner at a restaurant.  But it doesn’t matter.  I know why I eat the way I do and I don’t need anyone’s approval to do so.

Let’s stop with the body shaming.  Whether someone is bigger than you think they should be or thinner than you’d like them to be, let’s just knock it off.  Every time a child hears their parent or aunt or granparent criticizing themselves or someone else for how they look it makes an indelible mark.  Every single time they see their mother skip a meal they notice and remember that being thin is important enough to her that she will starve herself.  And when a kid hears other people laughing at someone who is overweight it is seared into them that it is okay to be cruel.  Or that at five, seven or ten years old they need to go on a diet.

Stop making snarky comments about people who post photos of themselves in yoga positions, stop sneering at the woman who wants a fresh, crisp salad instead of a burger, or the woman who wants a big, juicy burger instead of a salad.  You’re just seeing the cover of the book, not the story inside, and you know what they say about books and their covers.

So let me eat what I wanna eat without wondering which cleanse I must be on.  Let me feed my kids what I know is best for their bodies as well as their childhood memories.  Keep your eyes on the prize, and on your own plate, and let’s just let each other live a little bit.

And come on over for some dessert, I make a ridiculously good creme brûlée….but I can’t eat it so you can have it all.