Posted on by katieovergard · 1 Comment

Hap Muvers Day!

This is my third Mother’s Day…I’m early in the game, I know.  But at numero tres I am officially a big fan of this day.  My first mother’s day was nice, Addie was five months old, was baptized on Mother’s Day and my entire family had flown out from Colorado.  With all the awesome things going on I didn’t really feel the storied effects of the Big Mom’s Day.

Number Two was nice. I can’t complain about Chris doing whatever I want to do all day!  Last year I wanted to go on a family bike ride but springtime in Chicago had different plans. That and as the rain poured down the glass of the bicycle shop the employees inside were anything but helpful in our buying a new bike for yours truly.

But THIS year…oh let me tell ya, THIS year is awesome.  Addison is old enough to get that this is a special day for mommy.  I woke up and took a long, leisurely shower. Check one on good start to the day list. As I rounded the corner of the stairs Addie ran across the room yelling, “HAPPY MUVER’S DAY MAMA!” then jumped in my arms and gave the the best hugs and kisses ever.

How do you beat that? Now that my child is old enough to (start to) understand what Mother’s Day means now I can feel what makes this day so special.  I mean, I have loved LOVED celebrating my mama on Mother’s Day. It’s always been her day. But I’ve always wondered about what she, and other moms, really wanted on this day. Did they want to spend the day with their kids? Spend the day alone with only peace and quiet to keep them company? I’m gonna be honest, I still don’t know what other moms want. But I couldn’t ask for anything more than what I have.  We’re halfway through the day and already, it’s perfect.  The awesome greeting this morning, some playtime and then a picnic in the park with my husband and daughter.  Sunshine. Slides. Laughter. How can you beat it?

I’m so grateful to be a mom. To have a day that celebrates motherhood. To be the daughter of a woman who has always been, and will always be an integral piece of who I am.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you out there who have raised, reared, given birth to, adopted, loved, nurtured, nourished, clothed, cleaned, taught, learned, kissed boo boos, felt fevers, soothed sobs, and combed hair.  You have made, we are making, a difference in the world by filling these children with love and sending them out to share the love with others.

I salute you Mamas!

And I love YOU Mama.

Posted on by katieovergard · 4 Comments

The Truth: Love at first sight?

A woman spends months dreaming of the first moment her baby is placed in her arms. Sometimes the months are spent getting to know the little kicker in her womb, and other times the months pass imagining her baby while waiting for an adoption to go through.  Whatever the circumstances, I don’t think anything can compare to the actual moment when a mother meets her child for the first time.

Well for me, it wasn’t an overwhelming rush of life-changing love.  I thought the little baby was adorable, I wanted to protect her and hold her and look at her.  I wanted to feel like I had just been turned inside out with blissful happiness.  But I didn’t know this little person – MY child lived in my now deflated belly. She kicked me in the ribs and performed impressive acrobatics on my organs making my stomach contort into odd shapes.  MY baby went with me everywhere and pressed her tiny foot against my palm when I rested it on my belly button.

This child they placed in my arms was beautiful.  I could see her Daddy in her face. But I was not knocked sideways, my world was not turned upside down. I didn’t feel like a mom.  I felt like a failure.  Yeah, isn’t that nice? Right off the bat, I felt like I was failing this tiny, precious baby.  I was thrilled to have her in my arms, but she could have come from anyone, there was nothing about having her in my grasp that felt the same as the past nine months had.  She came to us three weeks early and spent her first day of life in the NICU – would I have felt differently if they let me have her right away?  It took us about three weeks of painful, emotionally difficult attempts at breastfeeding before we both got the hang of it – would it have been easier if she never had newborn formula in the hospital? One morning I held my teeny six pound daughter in my arms as she slept. I was wearing a thick robe (it was January) and she was wrapped in her blankie.  When I handed her over to her Daddy he nestled her in his arms with ease and said to her, “Oh my, you’re so sweaty!”

I dissolved into tears and walked into the kitchen feeling defeated and useless and incapable of taking care of this child.  Chris’ comment was completely innocent, babies get sweaty when they sleep in one position for so long – and he had no idea I was struggling with feeling incompetent.  So MY daddy curled me up in HIS lap and soothed me from heaving sobs to quiet tears.  While he held my head against his shoulder, he calmed Chris who was watching wide-eyed and concerned for his wife.  He hadn’t done anything wrong. And my dad helped me understand that I didn’t do anything wrong either. I had only been a mother for a few days…nothing was going to happen immediately.

Every day that passed I learned something new about Addie. She loved to have her hands on her face. When she nursed she liked to rest her tiny little hand on my chest.  I learned how to hold her the way she liked, and to rock her to sleep when she was restless. Every day that passed I fell deeper and deeper in love with her.  As I got to know her, she became MY child, I started to recognize the little kicker that bruised my ribs from the inside.  I fell in love with her the way I fell in love with her Daddy, spending time together and learning all the tiny things that make a person an individual.  And just like her Daddy and I did, Addison and I developed an irreplaceable and unbreakable bond.

I didn’t start feeling like a mom until I saw the recognition on her face when I was around.  I started feeling like a mommy when I was the only person in the world who could be what she needed. But now, two years and four months into our lifelong relationship, I am a MOTHER. I will never tire of her sweet, little voice saying,  “Mama, what dat?” or “Mama! Missed You!” or “Wuv you Mama” or even “Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama!” When I finally say, “Yes?” all she has to say is Hi.

That little lump of cute that was placed in my arms on January 13th 2008 has become my friend and my accomplice, my love, my buddy, my teammate, my assistant, my smile, my heart and my happiness. My DAUGHTER.  Love at first sight? Not for me. But what we have is even better and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.

Posted on by katieovergard · 3 Comments

Friends.

I have a lot of confidence, I think we’ve covered that fact. I believe in myself when it comes to my marriage, my parenting skills and my artistic talents.  I have a decent view of my body and even though I sometimes want to make some changes I feel pretty dang good about the way I look. I know who I am but more importantly,  I like who I am.

But when it comes to friendships I feel like a confused, insecure and destined to fail.

I have never been the kind of person who needs a lot of friends. As far back as I can remember I just needed one close friend and then some peripheral acquaintances. As I grew up I convinced myself that I was doomed in friendship because so many female friendships failed, usually with a dramatic crash and burn but occasionally with a slow fizzle.  I have been able to maintain close friendships with a number of guys throughout my life and have definitely been one of those girls who claims that “girls and I just don’t get along. They’re too dramatic.”  For all the times I spouted that nonsense, I officially recant my declarations. I have recently come to accept that my reservations about friendship stem from my own dysfunctional view of what friendship itself requires.

The women in my life who love me, specifically my mom and mom-in-law, have wanted me to have female friends for years. I resisted. I ignored their advice declaring the positive aspects of having lifelong girlfriends.  I didn’t want to hear it. But then I had a baby. And I started to really grow up. And I finally admitted to myself that they were right, I needed friends – girlfriends.

To make a long story very short: I now have girlfriends.  They are wonderful.  But I still don’t know what I’m doing. I try to be honest about how I feel. I try to be there for them when I think they need me. I have even, on occasion, put their needs before my own! I really care about them.  I never know if I should do more. I always wonder if what I’m doing is irritating, or abrasive.  I am constantly second guessing myself…WHY?

For some reason I cannot get over my friendship insecurities, its as though I am convinced that I will fail and so I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop.  In my head I know that I am an adult and can only do my best and be a genuine person, people who want to be around me and in my life WILL be.  But in my heart I am still just a confused little girl who is looking for someone to play with on the playground.

Ahhhh. I’ll figure it out. I have overcome much bigger issues in my life and I know I will conquer this one as well…its just taking a little longer than I’d like it to.

What does an ideal friendship look like to you? Give me advice PLEASE! I am curious to have a peek into a confident, comfortable friendship. I want your success stories!

Posted on by katieovergard · 4 Comments

Well, I was doing laundry anyway.

We just put Addison in her first pair of big girl underwear. She got to pick them out herself and they are covered with flowers and the face of Dora the Explorer, and Addie is THRILLED.

We’ve been working on potty training for awhile now: introduced a new potty about five months ago and explained why we use the potty and what we do in there.  We talked about letting mommy and daddy know when she feels like she might pee pee or poo poo.  And good news – she LOVES the idea of the potty.  It is great fun to yell “potty! potty!” while running to the bathroom and then making mommy and daddy strip her down (because why wouldn’t everyone be completely naked while using the toilet?) Then sitting down and making pushing faces/noises.  And that’s that.  Nothing left behind in the potty,  it’s just another fun toy and chance to get “nake” as Addie so often does. But we both firmly believe that potty training is not something you force, ‘she’ll get it when she’s ready’ we thought.

Then we bought Princess Pull-ups. And waited.

Then we asked her if she liked going poo poo in the potty or her diaper: “Dipe. Poo poo dipe.”

Addie is pumped for preschool so we let her know that she gets to go, “But what do you need to learn first, love?” In her sweet little voice, “PEE PEE POTTY PRESCHOOL!”

So, after registering her for preschool two days ago it hit me that we have until september to make sure she can use the potty.  We still don’t want to push her but we want to make it more appealing to get rid of the ol’ dipes.  We made a “potty poster” with columns for sticker rewards when she does a series of things.  She has two stickers each in the “Let us know you gotta go” and “Sit on the potty and try” categories. But no dice in the “Use Potty”  “Wipe and Flush” and “Wash Hands” categories.  So far, she gets stickers for getting naked, sitting on the potty and pretending to push just like she always has.  Hmmmmm.

She’ll get there.

My little secret? Up until school registration I can’t say I was 100% on board with the idea of no diapers.  We travel a lot. The idea of struggling out of our seats on the airplane because she may or may not have to tinkle sounds awful to me. Not to mention the limo rides to and from the airport – how are those nice drivers going to feel when that tiny voice screams from the backseat, “POO POO MAMA! NOW!” And accidents…oh I can imagine the accidents and the cleaning of the panties and extra outfits…

Part of me wonders why we don’t all just wear diapers.

So, if you have any advice about this potty training business, let me know.  And please, don’t just send in your success stories where you gave your child a potty and he or she grabbed a newspaper to read and started using the potty correctly every time.  I’m gonna be honest, I don’t really want to hear that.  But if you have some helpful tips I would love to be read into your expertise.

Now, I have to go make sure Addison hasn’t peed on anything yet.

Posted on by katieovergard

Have you ever heard of a non-diaper bag?

I don’t want to use this blog to promote my business or make any readers feel as though they are reading a promotion or advertisement…but I think some of you mamas out there might be interested in my new project on my website.  It is a non-diaper bag, a stylish and versatile bag that meets your baby needs AND your style needs at once.  I give instructions on how to make it yourself OR I can make one for you.

Check it out.  I am a firm believer that we should all free our inner artists. You’ll be stunned with what you can do when you just give it a shot!  Go to katieOchicago.com to find out about my evolution from diaper bag obsession to hiding the fact that Addie’s diaper/wipes/tylenol/cookie carrying needs trump my style aspirations.  This bag is my solution!

Posted on by katieovergard

summer is almost here…

You know what summer means? It means shaving my legs on a regular basis, trying to find a decent self tanner that will turn my skin an even, perfect bronze and not the splotchy orange I end up with every year.  It means finding out how my naturally curly hair is going to react to the varying precipitation and humidity levels of the midwest. But right now, all it means to me is toning up the squishyness that has crept up on me over the last few months.

When I can use cute clothes to cover everything up I can pretend that the squishy doesn’t exist…or at least ignore the fact that I want to get the squishy under control before I get the Goose in swimming lessons and have to pop us both into swimsuits. I’d like to see my arms a little tighter, my thighs a little more narrow and less independently mobile when I walk. And okay, while I’m at it I wanna see tighter abs, a lifted butt and slimmer calves, perfect skin, hair that doesn’t react to changes in weather or pool water and maybe, just because we’re on a roll, add a couple of inches to my 5′ 7″ frame – preferably lengthening my legs.

That’s not too much to ask, is it?

I’m going to be honest with you about something: A couple of weeks ago I ordered two bathing suits from the Victoria’s Secret catalog.  One two piece (the top with push-up, thank you very much 13 months of nursing) and a tankini for my “mom time” at the pool (also with push-up).  They arrived in the mail today. After a full lunch at PF Changs I decided it was a good time to try on swimwear.  I fully expected to NOT LIKE the way I looked.  I knew that I would see the squishy pushing against the various ties and seams.

But, to my surprise, I looked alright.  What’s the point, you ask? Well, I’m not tooting my own horn, that’s for sure.  I am just surprised that my body taught my mind a very important lesson: EASE UP.  I realize that it is not uncommon that I find myself unsatisfied with my appearance but don’t take the time to realize that my unease resides solely in my head, not on my hips.  So I’m going to make a conscious effort to be nicer to myself.  I’m pretty easy to pick on, but I’m gonna do my best!

What about you…should YOU give your body a break too? Think about it…

Posted on by katieovergard · 2 Comments

what a weird day!

As you know by now our days around the Overgard household are pretty relaxed and mundane. Now that its nice out we walk wherever we want to go – shops and restaurants are right down the street and the grocery store is a ten minute walk in the other direction.  Hopefully all this walking will tighten up my lower half before I need to slide that bikini on in a couple of weeks!

But I digress…Addie and I walked to the grocery store this afternoon and before we even walked through the doors we heard a kid SHRIEKING inside the store.  We headed to the school supplies section (no, I’m not prematurely buying school supplies for the Goose’s recent pre-school registration…sob) we are making her a “Hey! It’s exiting to go pee pee in the potty – poster” in hopes that getting stickers will make using the potty a little more appealing. My goodness, I am having a hard time staying on topic today!  Back to the shrieking…

The little boy was in the middle of the diaper aisle and had lungs like I’ve never heard before.  If he doesn’t grow up to be in the theater I will be stunned because he was D-R-A-M-A-T-I-C. He was about two years old and his poor mom was holding his younger sister on her hip as she searched for formula further down the aisle.  I’m not clear on what he wanted…maybe to leave, then to be picked up…then possibly world peace…whatever it was, it was LOUD.  I did my best to just go about our business and find our potty-poster supplies.  Addie kept looking at me like, ‘mom, what in the world is wrong with that kid?’ But I let her know everything was okay and asked her to help me pick out poster board.

I am not exaggerating when I say that every single person in the store could hear this kid’s antics.  People were looking, chuckling, peeking around corners to make sure some small animal wasn’t stuck under a pallet of water bottles…I can only imagine what was going through his mom’s head.  But here’s the point – she kept her cool! She just kept reassuring him that she was listening to him and letting him know why she couldn’t pick him up or leave the store immediately or provide intercontinental peace.  She asked him if he was done throwing his fit because she was going to walk to the registers and she would prefer it if he went with her.  And she knew that whatever the rest of us in the store were thinking, IT DIDN’T MATTER!  She knew that he wasn’t hurt or in danger and just went about her mothering like (I assume) she does everyday.  If I thought she could hear me I would have told her how great I thought she was.

Weird thing number two: On our walk home from the store we have to traverse a stretch of a pretty busy main road.  Once we turn into the neighborhoods its pretty quiet and peaceful but for this small stretch it’s loud with traffic and, today, wind.  So, I’m pushing Addie’s stroller with one hand and holding a cup of tea from Starbucks in the other and this woman walking towards us is pointing wildly a the stroller.  My instincts pop on and I’m frantically looking around the stroller at Addie to make sure she’s okay, then at the groceries to make sure they haven’t been falling out in a trail behind me…on and on.  When she finally reaches us she starts talking about how cute Addison is and how nice it is to see other pedestrians.  And then it gets WEIRD.  She starts fishing around in her purse telling me she’s looking for a quarter or a dollar and I am standing there in the wind/traffic trying to figure out for the life of me if she thinks we’re homeless and in need of donations…and then it starts. The talking.  Imagine this scene, I’d call it a conversation but it was pretty one sided.  This is what it sounded like to me – any of my responses will be in italics and if it starts looking like gibberish its because that is ALL I could hear…….

“Here’s a dollar for her piggy bank Little kids love putting things in piggy banks especially in these economic times Yeah, she loves putting money in her piggy bank I was born in 1952 and so that makes me old enough to be your mother Well, you have beautiful skin (keep in mind I thought this was going to be a quick passing conversation at this point) Oh, you’re so sweet I have these chubby polish cheeks and rosacea and I have had this bob for years my husband wants to know why they don’t call it a mike my niece has this perfect asymmetrical face and I tell her that she should cut her hair and she finally has its so fun to have kids they are such natural learners our son fslkjfhgkjhrk sldfj;eij ;isojg sldfijljlskdjf watched ren and stimpy as a little boy and understood the underlying irony my husband is a cpa mba and our son got all my my language comprehension skills and my husbands math skills now he goes to fancy schamncy bennet where they get two hundred dollar italian leather shoes and BMW’s and we get eighty dollar shoes and I asked my husband if I could have a little honda civic but I didn’t know it had manual windows and push button controls now my son drives it and is proud of all the manual things he took his ACT’s and scored a 35 in math and the the SATS before the essays he scored a 1500 but one kid got a perfect score and we talked about being happy for others accomplishments but all the BMW parents we so jealous Well, I have to get home for dinner, it has been so nice talking to you Oh, being born in 1952 I grew up with women’s lib and equal pay and I believe that Shkhekfjhkjdf sdfhoijaodihf dsjfnskehfalh Okay, have a wonderful rest of your day! I need to get going!

Does your head hurt yet? That was the abbreviated version.  Why did I stand there so long listening to this crazy woman talk nonsense? I guess I felt that she obviously needed someone to talk to and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her feelings.  I’m a sucker for people like that.  I think I need to rethink my stance on random weird strangers…

Now we’re home and the only random weirdness we will encounter now is our own. And now its time for dinner…thanks for sticking with me today, I think I was affected by all the crazy!