It is eleven PM and I am getting on a plane tomorrow. With a two year old.  

I have the system down pretty well, Addie and I have been on over thirty flights together but every trip still wears me out.  Christopher (my husband) and I are so incredibly lucky to be home together every day with Addie but the trade off for being able to do that is some serious travel time.  We usually spend three to four weeks at home together and then have one travel week where Christopher goes on a poker trip and Addie and I fly to Colorado to be with my family.  I really like everything about the system we have worked out: Chris and I get to raise Addie together, the week apart works for us because we spend every day together and I get to spend lots of time with my parents and sisters.  The ONLY thing that makes it hard is the two and a half hour plane ride.  That’s it. But if you’ve traveled with an infant / baby / toddler than you understand.  

Addie’s first flight was at three months and, man, that was one easy flight.  She slept the WHOLE time.  It was amazing and boosted my confidence to the point that I felt fine completing the second leg of the trip alone with her (Chris left on a work trip and I stayed with my family.)  All the infant flights were pretty much the same: Addie would sleep, wake up to nurse if the flight was semi-empty or have pumped milk if the flight was full then go back to sleep.  The hardest part was making sure all that hard-earned breast milk didn’t leak! As she got older and started to realize what was going on around her things got a little harder.  She was squirmy and wanted to get off my lap or play with all the magazines in the seat back pocket.  One flight sticks out in my mind as my turning point of how I approached flying: 

We were flying United so we had assigned seats, and I was assigned a MIDDLE (!)  Addie was still flying as a lapchild and so I was stuck between a man in the window seat and a chatty woman in the aisle.  I had always been a nervous wreck about irritating the other people on the plane and would work myself into a frenzy if Addie was anything but perfect on a flight.  Well, this one was the worst EVER.  Addie wasn’t even bad she was just moving constantly and wanted to touch everything. The woman in the aisle seat was oblivious to everything and chatted my ear off, but the man in the window seat just kept moving father and farther away from us.  Now that I look back it was almost comical how he tried to tuck himself into the corner of our row as though he could fold himself into his own pocket.  When Addie reached to the right and touched the man’s arm, he pulled it away as far as he could manage.  I gently tucked Addie’s hand back into her lap and said, “I’m sorry sir.”  Thinking he would be like most other people and say, “It’s okay, I have three.” Or, “Not a problem.” Oh no, not this guy.  As soon as I said ‘I’m sorry’ he shot me a NASTY look and snapped, “ME TOO.”  I almost burst into tears. And then I got mad.  I turned to him, looked him in the eye and said, “If you have a problem you can ask for a different seat,  I’m doing the best that I can.”

It felt SO good.  He didn’t say a word for the rest of the flight and I gained a new perspective on flying.  I now consider us an expert mother/daughter travel team, here are some of the tips I’ve learned along the way:

• choose an airline where you get to choose your seat. I always fly Southwest because there is no assigned seating.  This way, if someone sits near us it is their choice and as far as I’m concerned they signed up for it!  
• if you can afford it, buy your child his or her own seat.  You don’t have to do this until they are two years old, but I started buying Addie a seat at about 7 months old.  It is worth every penny to me to have her in her own carseat where she knows how to sit and be calm.  
• Give your child something to suck on at take-off and landing.  Little ears hurt on planes and this will help their ears pop when the pressure changes.  Pacifiers, bottles, breasts…doesn’t matter, just give ’em something.
• Entertainment. Entertainment. Entertainment.  I used toys when Addie was a baby, books and snacks when she got a little older, books like crazy (at least 4 different choices) when she was older still and now we use a portable DVD player.  Tomorrow will be our second flight with the DVD’s and I couldn’t be happier.  She may only watch fifteen minutes at a time, but that fifteen minute block of her being occupied makes me a happy mom.
• Know that you have every right to be on that plane with your child/children.  If someone doesn’t want to hear the noises a child makes – crying, laughing or talking – they can buy noise canceling head phones.  Never let someone make you feel bad for traveling with your child.  If you are doing everything you can to sooth your baby or keep your toddler from kicking the seat in front of her then you are doing your job.  Just make sure you are always paying attention to your child.  I am the most understanding mom on the plane when it comes to other mothers and their children but it still drives me crazy when someone just ignores their child and lets them make a ruckus on the plane.  C’mon, just listen to your kid’s joke and then he’ll stop yelling “mom!” repeatedly.  Do what you can and that is enough.  And when you buy your child a seat you have double the right to be there!  

Its late and I should get some sleep for the big day tomorrow.  Wish me luck, I know Addie is going to be as great as she always is tomorrow but I still get the knot in my stomach before every flight.  At least we are going home to be with Daddy, I’ll be able to distract her from being in her seat for so long with the promise of daddy hugs!  

Till next time…happy flying