Okay, I am admitting right off the bat that I am NOT the stylemama, that would be Liz.  But I do know what looks good on me and somewhere along the way I figured out what looks good on other people too.  Ask around, I promise, I am not just tooting my own horn!  One of the things I do “on the side” when I’m not working on my website is to help people with closet make-overs. I go to a woman’s home and together we sort through her clothes; categorizing, editing, trying on and deciding what fits and doesn’t fit, what’s flattering and what needs to be donated to Goodwill.  I’ve learned that most women share some common misconceptions about how the world perceives them.  Here are some issues that I want to clear up with all of you out there who claim that you: a) don’t have time to be stylish  b) don’t like your size so you’re not going to invest in quality clothing or c) can’t find anything that looks good on you  (you all know who you are!) 

 I empathize with those of you who feel that you fall into any or all of the categories above. I’ve been there too.  Before I had a baby I LOVED putting outfits together.  My style was quirky and individual and I had a ton of fun with it.  Up until the night I gave birth (which happened to be my baby shower, by the way, Addie decided she was showing up 3 weeks early) I put thought and care into my wardrobe.  AND THEN…Addie popped out and all the maternity pilates I did the past nine months (and the 5 years of pilates before that) didn’t matter.  I was squishy and big in places I had never been big before.  My nice firm belly full of baby had become a flap.  I would be lying if the words sexy or attractive ever entered my mind when describing how i felt about my body. Sure I felt that what my body had just done was absolutely incredible and the fact that it could produce everything that Addie needed even after she was born was a miracle in itself.  But was I slipping on my skinny jeans? No. My wardrobe quickly became nursing friendly / black-dark brown-dark green / no accessories / comfy / easy / quick. My hair was in a ponytail every day.  Flats took over where heels once ruled.  I had transformed into a BlahMama.  So I get it.  Its hard to want to be stylish when you feel like crap.   In an effort to keep this post a somewhat readable length, I will condense the lessons I learned to make easy changes to start you on the road to feeling better about your appearance:

1. It’s just as easy to pull on tailored black slacks or well-fitting jeans as it is to pull on sweatpants.  Work those dark colors if it makes you feel better! In fact, I support you…nothing covers lumps and bumps better than dark shades.  Want to know why? Shadows.  Light colors show the shadows that lumps and rolls create. Dark colors don’t. 
2. Wear cute shoes.  There are SO many possibilities out there that you have no excuse to wear ugly shoes.  I like to wear ballet flats (pretty much every single day) but if your feet can’t handle them buy cute loafers in bright colors or one of a million other attractive/sensible/comfortable options out there. Please don’t wear ugly shoes!
3. Accessorize.  This may not mean necklaces and dangly earrings for those of us with grabby children, but a statement bag or belt or, as mentioned above, a cute shoe can take an otherwise boring outfit and make it personal and interesting.  When your kids stop wanting to rip your earrings out or swing from your necklace start to add fun jewelry as well. I JUST got to this stage and I’m loving it.
4. MAKE SURE YOUR CLOTHES FIT.  No one sees the size of your pants.  They only see the way they fit.  And fit does not equal expensive.  You can buy any pair of pants that fit you fairly well and get them nipped and tucked at your local tailor or dry cleaner.  If you have curves and always buy pants too small because thats the only way to get pants to fit your waist, then find pants that fit your HIPS then get the waist taken in.  Pants always too long? Alter the length.  Most stores offer this service.  Can’t find a blazer that fits over your boobs and your waist and your shoulders? Get one that fits your shoulders and doesn’t strain over the “bubboos” (Addie’s word for boobs) then have the waist nipped in. 

I could go on forever.  There are so many little tips that add some oomph to your wardrobe.  This isn’t about the clothes and what shirt looks good with a certain style of slacks (although I do love me some cute clothes.) It is because I know that feeling put together makes a woman feel better about who she is.  This isn’t about vanity, its about how you present yourself to the world, about giving yourself the time of day to care about how you feel. 

Once I started putting as much effort into my wardrobe as I was putting into Addie’s I started feeling so much more confident. I stopped wondering if people were looking at me because my bra was too tight and they could see the lumps it created on my back.  Now I think they look at me and think, “Wow, she has a toddler and she still looks so stylish!” 

Whether they’re actually thinking that doesn’t matter…its the fact that they should.