I’m 29 today!  If you had asked me a year ago how I would feel once I turned 29 I would have guessed my reaction would be longing for my youth to continue ad infinitum. But you know what? I feel like I have one arm out of a lead coat that I have been wearing for the last decade or so.  I am one step closer to reaching, what in my mind, is a glorious shedding of what is expected of a woman in her teens and twenties.

Sound crazy? Maybe.  But to me, the twenties represent expectations of youthful brazenness, universal sexual appeal, maintaining one’s physical peak and an unquenchable thirst for adventure and excitement.  That is a lot of pressure on someone who is trying to figure out who the heck they want to be.  The past nine years of my life have found me on an undulating roller-coaster of maturity, morality and self-confidence.  I will not be sorry to step off this ride and enjoy my newfound contentment with who I am.  I feel like a puppy pulling on my leash trying to get to the next decade of my existence, a milestone more commonly greeted with tears or emotional shock.

Am I surprised my my reaction? Heck yeah I am!  I have always put too much of my self-worth in my appearance and public image.  I am embarrassed to admit that for the first few years of my twenties much of my self-confidence came from feeling desired by others.  Desired for my appearance, my company, my lifestyle.  How exhausting and draining!  I felt that the cover of my book was beautiful, but my content left something to be desired.  It has only been in the last couple of years that I have started to shift my basis of self from the external to my ever growing internal confidence.  I started to recognize all the things that are great about me that had nothing to do with the narrowness of my thighs or the fit of my bikini.  And you know what? finding pride in the fact that I am funny and talented and have something interesting to say is WAY more satisfying than looking good in a pair of tight jeans.

I plan to combine each step I take out of my twenties with another joyful realization that who I am is bigger than what others see.  The past four years have been so monumental in my personal development that I am nothing less than thrilled to find out what I can accomplish and how I will develop over the next five years.  Happy Birthday to me!  Yeah for 29!

I can only IMAGINE how I will feel when 40 rolls around!