Chris and I are incredible parents.  We are a fantastic team, Addison is smart and well behaved, polite and loving.  She knows her numbers, her letters and can count in spanish.  We listen to her and treat her as a person and not a little kid.  She’s rather exceptional. There isn’t a whole lot that I would change about the way we are raising our daughter.

Did reading that make you uncomfortable?

If it did don’t be ashamed, I think we’re groomed to bristle at the mention of the positive.  Is this more comfortable:

“Chris and I are taking this parenting thing day by day.  It feels like there is always more to learn and our daily challenges make me feel like parenting is a never ending battle/lesson that I will never be able to perfect.  There is always something I can do better, there is always someone who knows better.”

Most of the above statement is as true as the first one you read, but man, it’s depressing.  But I feel like it is what people want to hear, not the confident declaration of happiness up top.

WHY?

I do believe that Chris and I are fantastic parents. We love this parenting gig.  I can’t help but wonder that people are uncomfortable with that fact because rather than hearing “CHRIS AND I ARE GREAT PARENTS” they hear, “CHRIS AND I ARE BETTER PARENTS THAN YOU.”

No one likes a bragging, boastful, know-it-all.  But maybe, just maybe we tag someone as those things because we feel threatened – not because they actually deserve it.  Am I the only one who feels this standard when it comes to discussions about parenthood? Because I, more often than not, sit back and listen to other people complain about their struggles/kid’s tantrums/husband’s incompetencies/lack of time, space and happiness.

I can admit that the flow of negativity could just be a much needed rant.  Everyone deserves the chance to rant. But is it all negative because that’s how they truly feel about their life or because the hardships are approved topics?  If I were to be completely honest in conversations with other parents it would be awkward and kind of irritating.  Because my life is pretty easy.  I don’t have some of the hardships and struggles that other parents face everyday.  Our life is so unconventional that other people don’t, and can’t, understand our very unconventional problems.  But day to day, my life is bliss. People who lack their own bliss don’t like hearing about mine.

So I keep my mouth shut.

But I believe that if we all talked about the positive things, the things our kids and spouses do RIGHT, the things we love about parenting, then we could set a fresh precedent for the new crop of parents.  We could start a whole new conversation that lets them enter parenthood with confidence and excitement rather than terror of the unknown.  Happier parents make happier kids.

And there is nothing uncomfortable about a happy kid.

So next time someone asks how you’re doing, or what is going on in your life, tell them something GOOD. Then make a habit of it.

Let’s see if this catches on.