Last week I attended a get together for moms and their kids at a local park. It was fun, a big success with all kinds of moms (some dads) and kids of all ages.  While Addie played in the sandbox with friends I overheard a group of new moms who had just discovered that their sons were all about the same age.  I admit it, I’m a bit of a creeper and I listened in on their conversation.  And then, of course, I was irritated and wished that I had been smart enough to mind my own business.  Why? The Royal We.

Do you know what that is? Well, historically Royals use(d) the pronoun “We” rather than “I” with the mentality that they were bigger than the individual and represented the entire Royal Family.  So when the Queen really liked the new gown that had just been presented to her the response would be “We approve of this beautiful gown” not, “Wow, I like this gown a lot!”

On from the historical grammar lesson.  That day in the park was not my first run in with The Royal We… maybe its more appropriate to call it “The Mommy We.”  Here’s what went down:

Johnny’s Mommy was holding his hands while he took tentative steps on the squishy safety ground of the play area.  Sam’s mom was doing the same. When Johnny’s mom let go of his hands he kept walking.

“Oh! Look at him go! How old is your son?” Sam’s mom exclaimed.

“He’ll be thirteen months next week. Yours?” Johnny’s mom responded kindly.

“Well, we turned one last month but we’re not walking yet. We’ve been trying but its just not happening, so we’re just crawling.  But I’m sure we’ll do it soon!” Sam’s mom enthusiastically replied.

I won’t waste your time with more dialogue, here is the long and the short of it: according to Sam’s mom she doesn’t know how to walk, she is having a hard time eating with a spoon and, in my opinion, needs to see a gastroenterologist because she was very concerned about the timing and consistency of her poops.

UNLESS she was not, in fact, talking about herself but describing her son’s developmental milestones and mistakingly used the wrong pronoun in her descriptions.

Yes, I am a smartass when it comes to this topic.  Yes, I am being a little judgmental.  But I’m not going to lie and say that this “Mommy We” is not ridiculous. It is.  I understand that as parents we are so involved and invested in our children’s successes and hiccups that it feels like everything is happening to mom and child.  But most things are not, in most instances it is only the child who is learning to walk, or won’t eat pureed squash.  I can admit that there are exceptions: ‘We are going through the potty training process’ is a legitimate statement.  ‘We pooped on the potty today’ is weird. Because if it is true then there is a much bigger issue at hand than misused pronouns and it’s time to work on the ol’ informational filter.

Okay. I’ll leave you to ponder the implications of the “Mommy We.”  It’s Addie’s naptime and we need to sleep.