My baby is not a baby anymore.

This morning Chris and I took Addie to her very first day of preschool.  It was a “gradual day” that allowed the kids to acclimate to the idea of preschool rather than dumping them right into a regular day.  It was awesome, Addison was awesome, her teachers were awesome.  Everything was freakin’ awesome.  But my baby is still growing up.

Before you write me off as a grasping mom who won’t loosen the apron strings let me explain how I really feel about Addie starting preschool:

1. I can’t believe that my precious little lump of a newborn walks and talks and learns and converses and is ready for her first day of school.  It really wasn’t that long ago that all she could do was turn her head, fill up a diaper, sleep on our chests and drool a little bit.  Right?
2. Yes, I am going to have five hours of free time per week.  Yes, I hear all of you other parents tell me that I will be thrilled with the time.  But I am really going to miss the Goose; she’s my friend, my little buddy.  We do everything together and I really like spending time with her.
3. I’m jealous of her teachers.  They will get to witness so many incredible ‘first’ moments.  First best friend, first time using scissors, first time she understands how to play WITH another kid rather than next to them…on and on.  I’m straight up jealous that I won’t get to see all those moments.
4. She’s going to have ridiculous amounts of fun.  She is ready for preschool and needs it.  Addie is a voracious learner and absorbs everything she is told/taught.  The kid needs to be around other kids and she will thrive in a school atmosphere.  I have no doubt.
5. I have always been excited about the upcoming stage in Addie’s development.  Whenever she reached a new stage or learned a new skill I was not only pleased but felt blessed to watch her grow up.  But preschool is the first stage that makes my stomach hurt a little bit.  It feels like the first step where she’ll grow away from me.  She’ll learn to rely on her teachers…not just me anymore.  She’ll learn that she can be away from me and still be okay.  She’ll learn she can do things on her own without calling out “Mama!” in that sweet little voice.  Its a long road until I have to say goodbye to her and let her be an adult, but I feel like we have placed our feet on that road for the first time…and its time to start taking steps.  That makes me want to shed a few tears.
6. My little girl is incredible.  I know that she is going to rock preschool and that we will all acclimate to this new stage and we will all be fine.  Some more than others, but I promise I will only cry when no one else can see the tears – especially my courageous little construction princess.