Addie is little. At least she seems really little when we are at home…with 6′ tall Chris and 5’7″ me, its easy to look at Addie and still see her as my baby. But when we travel to Colorado and I see my sweet little girl with one 15 month old cousin and another only 10 days old, her speech sounds more clear and mature, her ideas developed and her behavior OLD, she even seems taller.  Now I don’t mean she is these things in comparison to her cousins, but being her next to a newborn and a child who is just learning to talk and start to show signs of toddlerhood it is suddenly very obvious that my baby is anything BUT a baby. She is a full blown kid.

I’m not sure how I feel about that.

When we’re at home – just the three of us – its easy to appreciate all the developments and growth for what they are. It’s easy to want to see what comes next. Once we’re done with a phase its in the past, re-lived only through pictures. But being around younger kids just reminds me of how many stages we’ve been through together and its harder to put the focus on what comes next.  Because I don’t want what is happening NOW to get lost in the ever-changing moment.

I never expected it to be so hard to see my little girl as “the big kid” in the group. And she is. She is a conversational, interactive, social, emotional PERSON.  And it kind of sucks to be reminded that ‘what comes next’ consists of her leaving her babyhood far behind.

I adore seeing Addie develop. Every day comes with a hilarious new saying or insightful thought.  Every development knocks my socks off and leaves me in awe of her capabilities. I just wish it wasn’t getting so hard to hold my sweetheart in my arms. Pretty soon she’ll be too big for them altogether. But they’ll always be open and ready for her when she wants them.